Here's how Don Lamb wanted his life to go. Grow up in the suburbs with a mom who's always got dinner on the table by 6 pm, something good like steak, and a dad who comes home from work and plays football with his kid in the yard. Go to USC, play running back for four years. Graduate, join the FBI and work on cases taking down serial killers and that kind of crap. Make arrest after arrest on national TV until he's just a little bit famous. Marry a hot blonde, maybe just a little bit mouthy (maybe a lot mouthy), have a couple kids. Retire whenever the hell he wants.

Here's how Don Lamb's life has gone so far. Grow up in the poor part of Neptune with a mom who's always got bruises on her face and a dad who comes home from work and kicks him around. Go to state college and play second-string football for two years. Go to a party one night after screwing up his knee, get wasted and have drunken sex with some cheerleader, only she calls it rape and he calls it being so drunk you don't remember a thing. Get thrown out even though he's never convicted. Try out Balboa Community College, then say forget it and go to the police academy. Work for Keith Mars, who goes home from work and eats dinner with his unhurt wife and blonde mouthy daughter. Take his chance when he gets it, but the mouthy blonde keeps screwing things up.

And now here's another blonde, another pretty girl claiming that some drunk moron raped her, not mouthy like Veronica but quiet and teary like that cheerleader was [quiet and teary like his mom always was] and he doesn't know what to do this time.

-fin-